“Great Zamboni, Why Do We Buy?”

“Someone told me a long time ago that people buy two things: Solutions to problems and good feelings.”-The Trad

This question comes from”Hortense.”

Once long ago, when I, Great Zamboni was a poor student at University of Krakow studying Electromagnetic Fields, Teleportation, Gender Studies and with a minor in Business- I coveted a pair of Paku skinned boots. The Paku is a pig-like creature, now extinct, native to Colombia with very shiny and leatherlike skin. The boots were in the window of Toloskovitski’s Emporium of Taste, a shiny store catering to the criminal elite. The Paku is not much bigger than a fat cat so it takes many to make a pair of boots.

I am ashamed to say I attained these boots through unholy and illegal ends, the only such time I, Zamboni, has partaken of a criminal activity. I ran a small subterranean cat fighting ring for three months until I had the money to purchase the boots. When I was finally able to wear these shiny purple boots, I realized it was not in the boots themselves that lay what I yearned for, it was an attempt to own the feeling of this yearning. I was trying to find permanently a feeling of belonging that can only be fleeting. I imagined being embraced by others such wearing these boots, that I would be protected, like I belonged to a special club. Like I would never be lonely again.  It was not boots, but the good feeling of love I sought.

I still buy things I don’t really need as bad as I need bread or ESPN. With Amazon, I buy many things with “one click buying” and this I enjoy. Growing up eating apple cores and weeds, it is hard not to revel in plenty.

But I try to remind myself, “what feeling is it that I need here, or what problem am I trying to solve?”

Hortense, I hope this gives you some answer. And remember, have your shopping sprees, but try Salvation Army or Thriftown- your money goes farther and endorphin rush is the same, without buyers hangover from 200$ jeans the next day.

Just wash the blankets before use.

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