“Suckin’ the Hind Tit”

Recently, I Zamboni learned of this expression from an American named Ralf Bart. Having not knowing this, I consulted the Interweb and found this definition:

“Not getting a fair share. Many female mammals have multiple rows of breasts, for example dogs. Typically the rear most pair of breasts is smaller and less developed than the rest. Hence a pup nursing from the rear most breast is likely to receive less milk than other nursing pups. Hind means rear most. Tit is slang for breast.”

Ah, I see. Growing up in Estonia, sharing the bed with many animals and relatives passing through town with the circus, I am quite familiar with this feeling. Getting the short edge of the sword and the fewer birds in the bush, etc. It might surprise you to know that the Zambonesman often feels like he is on this  tit.

You all know of my fathomless wisdom, but being alone on this mountaintop is also very lonely. Never make the mistake of thinking that just because Zamboni can sometimes help everybody in a witless way, that he is without difficulty. Problems, you see, are instantly recognizable in others, but often impossible to see in ourselves.

Sometimes I wake up, prepare my elixir of Daikon radish, mustard greens, Wasabi and mint chip ice cream, and feel hollow, empty. In these moments I ask myself “what am I? where am I going? What am I doing with my life?” No one but the silence answers back.

Live in these moments. They are like houseguests that show up uninvited, people we don’t like but find ourselves stuck with as they blather annoying things on our sofa and fail to put their water glasses on the coasters you provided. There they are nonetheless. Eventually they leave, if you just let them say what they came to say.

Do you feel like you get the hind tit in your life? Let it make you thirstier and tougher.

Never give up, never surrender.

Zambonesman has spoken.