The Trad asks Zamboni

Todays question: I don’t know whether to set up my insurance captive in Bermuda or the Virgin Islands. Both countries allow me to keep the $ offshore at no tax but Bermuda is nicer and USVI is a shit hole. I like saying USVI. Is sounds like a drug from the late ’70s. I’m so confused.

The Trad
S.I.P.
(Serious Insurance Professional)

Dear esteemed bloggiste and life chronicler Mr. Trad: I, Zambonesman, of course have answer for you, as well as bad drug flashback story. Please stop saying USVI ever to me again.

“USVI” was indeed a drug developed by Timothy Leary in the 6o’s before he perfected his formula for LSD. I was part of the first trial of USVI and I still have a missing big toe and the fangmarks of a bear on my left ass cheek to prove it. So your question sends me shivers of memory of a long forgotten forest rampage in Northern California and leads me to answer you with:Bermuda. Emphatic and how.

and they allow dogs on beach- very rare

Bermuda has certain obvious advantages. The first being shorts. The second being pink sand. It is also closer to New York, the city in which you dwell, and when the world ends on May 21st,  it will be a shorter helicopter ride to get your “captive,” whoever that is. The third reason is the best Bay Rhum Cologne is coming from there.

As poor young man trying to attract women in Estonian college, we make our own with Everclear and roots that grow in sidewalk crack.

Need I say more? especially to you Sip. I once worked in the stables of a deposed Estonian tyrant who traded a  resevoir and three tanks for a case of this tingling head-wash.

So, my friend The Trad, as in all things, tradition serves us well here. Bermuda is truer heirloom place of preppy goodness- after all, they paint their houses pink. Add the green of golf course- you get the picture. In USVI is too many Americans- why travel to see them when they are outside door? And in case your question is of fiscal nature and  not a kidnapping, you must always “diversify”, whatever this means.  Peace and dividends of happiness to you.

And speaking of insurance, why not every single person who live in flood country buy flood insurance? This make Zamboni sad. What say you SIP?

From USVI. Bottle is even plastic, only use as Crab deterrent.
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