What is a manicure exactly and is it for man?

“Well by the dirt ‘neath my nails I guess he knew I wouldn’t lie” -Bob Dylan, Motorpsycho Nightmare

The above question comes from Mike T.C. from Cambridge Ma. and I will answer it since Zamboni is receiving a Persian Salt Immersion for the next 48 hours in which any toxins received from the “evil eye” will be purged from him. He believes.

Believe it or not Mike, my brother and I are both getting manicures this weekend before his wedding. It was his wish. He is very excited about it and says they are quite luxurious including nice hand and arm massage. Of course I was skeptical. It was not the male bonding ritual I would have chosen or imagined, but I am keeping an open mind. A strange fact: before battle in the Coliseum, Roman gladiators would have each hand rubbed on  the breasts of two Ethiopian slaves, then massaged with Eucalyptus oil and butter.  Since their match would end in death for one or both, it was thought  that these smooth hands would ease their  entry into the Underworld.

I just made that up but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.

So Mike, since it has the word “man” in it and since it requires us to sit in a chair and reflect whilst our appendage is stroked by a stranger, I will simply quote Cole Porter for your answer, “nice work if you can get it.”

Clear polish bitches!

But beware of facials. Just cut yourself two slices of cucumber  and put them over your eyes.  Good luck.

Next week Zamboni faces questions about depression, pocket squares, and what the fuck is a green tea soy latte.

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