A Sentence about Your Daughter’s First Dance

You realize you don’t know much because you just called at 9 pm to say goodnight and your ex tells you, “she’s at a dance” and you say “what” because that doesn’t sound right, she’s in the 8th grade, but she says it again, and that she wore that new black dress that her grandma got her and you realize you haven’t even seen that dress what does it look like and you wonder when she stopped being at home at 9pm and more than this you wonder aloud oh god I hope she isn’t getting groped beneath the bleachers and she laughs your ex she laughs  and says of course not, she’s too young  and you don’t say aloud that when you were her age and younger that’s all you wanted to do thinking please god let me cop a feel soon please but all you say to your ex is you’re gonna give her that talk right because you really haven’t yet well you did one cold night on the way to the frozen yogurt store but it was pretty silent on her part and you just kind of said a bunch of things at her but now you’re thinking is she dancing or is she one of the gigling ones  off to the side, has a boy asked her and she blushed so red like she does or is she just running around outside being a kid and you try not to worry that she has never spoken to you or her mom about a boy or a crush ever,  while you know very well  her phone is always busy humming and glowing and flashing and it isn’t like when we were kids when if a boy called the house phone which would actually ring a dad could pick up and be like, WHO’S THIS, no- today there aint much room to intervene but then you decide to stop worrying and you think about being in the 6th grade at someone’s party and September by Earth Wind and Fire is playing and even then your reptilian little 6th grade mind knew it was a special moment you would probably remember when you were ancient which you are now and I guess that brain wasn’t so reptilian then, and you hope your daughter, my daughter, you hope she’s having a moment like that, like maybe she’s dancing with someone she likes, does she like anyone, should she- you know she does and you hope not under the bleachers god not under the bleachers or under that dress and you hope this isn’t the end of her wanting to say goodnight or be tucked in and she could have at least texted me but you know it’s all gonna turn out right because it has to and you realize you don’t really know that much but probably nobody knows much more and you wanna call and see she got home safe but you know it’s probably too late and if anything did happen would she tell you and you just don’t know, you sure as hell you don’t know a thing.

-jw

(Zamboni returning soon.)

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