Choosing between things- How To Do It!

@jordanwiner Question for Zamboni: When it rains it pours. How do you choose when you have more than one good offer?

This above question was twittered to me via the computer box.

My uncle Snorblatt had a saying. He was a master cheesemaker, but also an excellent hang glider. In his early twenties, he hanglided across Transylvania and was on the verge of a profitable career in professional  gliding when he was struck down by a Tasmanian virus. Sweating and convulsing on a his deathbed, he had a vision. In his vision, a giant sword hung over his head and a goat the size of Godzilla wielded the sword with ferocity. Behind the gargantuan goat, a smiling rabbit did cartwheels spraying rainbow dust out of its ass. These seemingly incongruous things continued in his dream, until Dick Cavett appeared and said , “Ladies and, uh,  gentleman, please welcome, Norman Mailer!”

When Snorblatt’s fever broke, he recalled the dream down to the last detail. Carl Jung came all the way from Bavaria to decipher this dream using all his archtypes and oneric knowledge. His verdict? Snorblatt was fucking crazy.

What does this have to do with your question? ha! I am teaching you this. The point is, never ask someone for advice when making decisions- why? because no one can make a decision for anyone else without making it for themself.

Like Ayn Rand demonstrated,  people are -and should be- selfish. If you ask me to help you find your decision, I will naturally make the one that happens to serve me, not you.

My child asks where to go to college- naturally I will say Transyllvania A & M because I was kicked out due to a stunt involving several abandoned toilets, and wish to make my revenge on them. But this is decision best for me– not my child.

So when you have more than one good offer- always make the decision that you will not regret when you lie on the deathbed- which could be any time…

And be selfish- you owe it to the world.

And that’s the double truth, Ruth


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s