What Does Zamboni think about While Peeing?

This nosy yet intriguing question comes from Fortuitous Kronkite, a sheepherder from Duluth whose name is somewhat far to fetch.

Here is an exact inner monologue I experienced during a pee last night in a quiet alley outside of an eating establishment in Minsk:

It’s colder than a tit of a witch out here. Ack.. I wish the line for inside had not been so long..  Did I get my 1040 from Langley?

I can live without that Jeep, that ICW watch, those Gucci loafers with the little bamboo clasp, without ever visiting Japan or that little  quaint town somewhere in Michigan with the  sunsets and the cute little independent bookstore. I can live without ever knowing what  a Kardashian may be, or where Wall Drug is or what the hell the Winchester Mystery house is.

What is that crawling over my shoe? And what is a Chai Tea- is it tea or Chai? What’s a Channing Tatum?

And what about love- can I live without that?

Ahck! I’ve dribbled on my pants again… 

This can help you with stage fright...

I hope this was elucidating to you my friend. They say the Roman orator Esplennius would create whole orations in his mind while he drained his lizard. Anytime we let anything go, it can be good.

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