Hello friends, I am great zamboni, and my five week engagement in Berkeley Ca. just ended, holy cheese did I learn a lot about you, your problems, and even myself- and the devil as well.
About you: I learned that we all have pretty much the same questions, and yet each night it was difficult to predict what queries filled up the jar: Who was the sexiest presiden? How can I have more joy in my life and less stress? How can I find out what i’m meant to do? What is the key to good parenting? What should I do about my ex-wife and her high demands on me? Why does sex make everything so complicated in a friendship? I just found out my dad was married before he married my mom what should I do? Vanilla or Chocolate? and probably the hardest question of all, “Who’s responsible?”
What I (Zamboni) learned about me: that people generally like Zamboni and that many people are laughing at (with? no probably at) him quite vociferously and a lot. Some compare me to Borat, others say “you are funnier than that Ali G guy!”, that everyone likes free T-shirts, and Zamboni has a knack for making permanent love connections with his trademarked Zamboni dating Game. I learned that people feel comfortable enough around Zamboni to boo and yell things and yet most return after intermission, and even stay after the show and say praise. I learned Zambones can make em laugh, but also can make ’em go “m…ah.”
What I (Jordan the actor) learned: solo shows are frickin hard, tiring, grueling and a helluva lot of work. Big new respect have I for Dan Hoyle, Bogosian, Danny Hoch, Anna Deveare Smith, Josh Kornbluth, and anyone who gets on stage by themselves for an hour plus. I shvitzed like a damn sprinter every night. I learned having a director is key, and without one like Katja Rivera I would have been sailing a nice boat without a rudder to give me any unifying direction or purpose. Is rudder the word? I think it is. I learned I have a crazy-supportive family who double as Zamboni fans and having them in the house was a great spur. I learned I have friends who will be honest about the show and that there’s no shame in listening to ’em. I learned having an audience of six happens, but if it’s a rowdy group of senior citizens who decide they can talk back to me every 5 minutes, then it makes for a memorable show anyway.
I learned sucking back a Gu before every show is a good idea. Those cyclists know energy boost.
And lastly, I learned that the Devil is always very punctual, and as stereotyped as it may be, does in fact wear a red dress.