“Why does bread take so long to rise?”

This question comes from Ether in Lapland, where there are no stores to buy yeast. You see, in this case, you must set your goo of flour and water in a bowl out, and wait for the wild yeasts (which are like fairies that may or may not exist) to fly by, land in your slop of dough-to-be and make leavening happen.

A simple question- and yet brings up a larger one- why do so many things take so god damn long! Great Zamboni’s journey to Carnegie hall by 2020- why not I play there tonite?

The struggling actor of great talent still waiting tables.

The poor students struggling through boring classes just to get out one day and go to college.

The hungry, the poor, the jobless, the flooded…

Holy God’s ears that is too fricking depressing so I think I will move to the original question.

Dear Ether, bread is one of our oldest foods and it is the first one that taught us the humans patience. Burning flesh over a fire, ripping a fruit from a tree, these are all instant gratification, like scoring love from a concubine in the marketplace. But bread truly takes foresight, planning, tactics and patience- the way Angeline scored Brad Pitt.

I think (and I am right) that bread takes actually a very short time to rise, in fact it happens very fast.. It is only seeming “slow” because we humans have a rushed and faulty clock inside of us that wishes all to happen fast.

So “give us this day our daily bread” really might mean, our daily dose of patience?

Of course some things do happen briskly. Back in my playboy days in Monaco, the ladies used to giggle  and call me “two minute jackrabbit Mcgee” because, I think, of how fast they fall in love with me. Nice, no?

bread and pupp

bread and pupp

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2 thoughts on ““Why does bread take so long to rise?”

  1. If the Yeast Fairy is a sister of the Chanukah Fairy, then eight days and eight nights would be the golden standard to measure patience, suggesting that if it took Peyton Manning so long to go through rehab and get better after his injury, to become the best 36 year old quarterback in history, (at least among quarter backs who grew up in New Orleans and went to my high school), then bread rises awfully fast and human beings heal at just the right pace, right for them, so it has to be right for us.

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