“What was up with Diane Keaton at the Golden Globes?”

By eleven o’ the clock last night, this question had come to me 11 times from 11 different states. I shall make clear.

The origin  of Diane Keaton’s strange, long, rambling, talking and singing acceptance speech (on behalf of Woody Allen for lifetime  award) is very simple: My cousin Fladsik,  a struggling actor cum caterer living in LA, was serving o’duerves backstage at the awards and he saw this and texted to me last night: “Uncle Zamboni, you won’t believe this but Diane Keaton and Mathew Moconohee (Fladsik’s spelling) I catch behind the guacamole smoking a marijuana cigarette while this Maconohee is scatting like jazzman ‘ooh ah- yea, blow man blow! ooh- ah! yes baby yes.. indeed and yes’ .. so they are taking many puffs like this. Just this minute Joakeen Phoenix approach them with a Uija Board they now sit on floor and start to summon ghosts like of Jack Palance and -”

At this point there was a break in texts, as I suppose Fladsik had to make a run with Champagne bottle. Then Keaton go on stage, do the very strange thing she do… and I understand why because Fladskik is my fly on the wall.

Drugs, Ouija, a Phoenix and Maconohee- more than anyone can take at one time right?- the explanation.

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