And what the hell happened in the last election?

Thank you Robert Estes, illustrious theatrical impresario for this question…

In truth Robert, it all comes down to Quinoa or as it is scientifically known,  goosefoot.


My connections in the White House tell me that BH Obama has been consuming this bird food in the place of actual food and it has made his spine jelly-like and his stomache too flat. As a result, he has become a little too weak of a leader, and hence, the pendulum has once again swung over to the Republican side of things. Before the Vegan Revolutionary Front break my window with acorn squash, let me explain.

There is an ancient Estonian proverb, “if you eat what a lion eats, you will be savage, if you eat what a goat eats, you  get milked, if you eat what a bird eats you will drift with the wind.” The last election swerved way right because Barry -as I call him because Zamboni is personal friend and guru- became not strong enough leader to the left. Partially because he eat some “keen-Wah”. It is a savage world we are living in today, and he is not doing a good enough  job leading us through it.

Quinoa is birdseed. It is not I discriminate against vegetables. Kale is assertive. Potato has gravitas. Rice is conspicuous. But Quinoa is for hummingbirds, it should never be consumed unless you teach yoga or are starving.

Especially if you wish to keep control of bi-cameral legislature.

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