This question was asked to me, Great Zamboni, by Anderson Cooper, Angela Merkel, and Mark Zuckerberg this morning as we all milked goats on my Canary Island heavily gated compound, appropriately called Rancho el Zamboni.
Zuckerberg was terrible at it and required repeated tutorial by Squib, my Latvian goat handler. Anderson seemed like he’d been squeezing goat teat since birth. Love that guy! Angela was hungover and was resting, she told me , “I will blow sauerbrauten if I milk those fucking goats right now.” I love her! Totes.
I told them I was not a fortune teller, that I answer important questions that arise from the souls of humans, that I am not a Vegas book maker anymore, so these questions don’t interest me much, the whole predict-the-winner thing.
But what the hell, consistency is the hobnobbler of simple minds, so here’s my thoughts after the debate, and even though I love Trump as my ex lover and good golf buddy, I will tell what I see. Bernie Sanders should win but he won’t because he is balding and angry- two things which have never helped someone get elected. Remember Howard Dean yelling? Remeber McCains baldy?
Hilary will get elected because she has all the smarts of her husband, is smiling more now, and will not sneak an intern into the servants quarters for a cigar blowie.
Now, who will Zamboni vote for? O’malley of course.
great zamboni 