Zamboni asked about The General Strike and Occupy Movement:

“I’d love to hear the Great Zamboni’s response, if he is available for such trifles… What did the General Strike accomplish?”

This question comes from Jiannush Warrenski, in referring to the strike called in Oakland by the Occupy movement, which shut down many banks and businesses and filled the streets this last Wednesday.

One thing Zamboni knows is that we are all living in a matrix. A gooey vaseline thick web of stuff through which movement is so hard that stillness and stagnation become much easier and natural. Like a fog of thick smoke or steam. Are we clear so far? Good.

Once long ago I was working as a flight attendant. Unfortunately, an insane man grabbed the lever of the emergency door -while we were 35,000 feet above the Rockies, and flung it open. See what I mean?

Like Seal so rightly said,”we’re never gonna surviiiiiive, unless, we get a little craaaazy” right? I’m having some trouble concentrating here because I am in *the &^ >   the steam room of the Bellagio and my smartphone is starting to do str &^%%% ange things while I am not seeing well and I have been in here for four and a half hours which probabablyly is not wise but I just about to have sweated all my toxins out…  I can finish this answer:

The General Strike and Occupy Movement is the avante guard, the literal front guard teeth of the blade that will play a part to change America forever. Zamboni loves America- and the day I got my citizenship in 1967 was the happiest of my life, (after of course making love with Sophia Loren in the coat check room at the Stork Club) I believe in this country and that our greatest days are ahead of us not behind. I believe more general strikes will happen, and more places occupied, and that one day bankers will have the same salary caps as teachers and that american flag T-shirts from Old Navy will one day be made in America by American workers. Yes I believe we have not even seen the beginning of the movement in all it’s waking-up-sleeping-giant fury or fomentation. So, Mr Jiannush, I toast you to one day when strip malls have been replaced by, and our children laugh hysterically when we tell them how 20% of the people once had 85% of the wealth!

Did the general strike accomplish all this? No! Will we? yes!

THE MAN. Looking for exit.

Great Zamboni Occupies Oakland

I have seen seen the future tonite, and this is what it is looking like:

In the light of a Shell station, a man in a chicken suit pulls up alongside four motorcycle cops. The chicken man has a bike rigged with speakers. The speakers begin to blare, “We Are The World” and excitedly the chicken man sings and glad-hands the police. They won’t shake his hand, but they smile and lean on their motorcycles, allowing Chicken man to slap them on the back and sing circles around them.

Many 99%ers hold signs. Among them one reads “we need a maximum wage!” another is handwritten, “I don’t need sex, the government is screwing me every day.”

It is a mix of people: hippies, punks, men in suits, black, brown, white, kids, texting  tweens, jocks, unions, teachers, even a man dressed in tux and tails, sign reading “unemployed composer- more money for the arts!”- there is no kind I do not see. Truckers gladly get stuck in the crowd and allow people to climb up on their rigs. They blare their horns. A band powered by bicycle plays a Led Zeppelin song.

Back at Oscar Grant Plaza there is an old white van, “free tea”. He has been giving out free tea for six years. The van is wood-pannelled inside with bookshelves and plants.

The tea party is no longer serving decaf Lipton. It’s Venezualan Red Ginger Roiibos English Earl of Gray Red Bull Kicked Up Pumpkin Chai baby!

Tear Gas

Greatzamboni never hears this from the underground metro driver over intercom before tonight: “This is 19th street station, the transfer point to the Richmond train. Your train is waiting on the opposite side of the platform. Please cover up as you cross the platform as there may be some residual tear gas fumes. Thank you and have a good evening.”

And before then: “We apologize for the inconvenience, we’ll be passing straight through the 12th Street station as we cannot stop there due to..the..uh, civil unrest.”

Zamboni has been rudely woken up many times in his life- by rabid crows in Borneo, by Piranhas nibbling my earlobes in Peru, by a horde of Jealous sumos in japan- but i am very glad this was not me in this tent this morning in Oakland Ca at 4:30 am.

I know something is happening, but I don’t know what it is- do you Mr. Jones? Please tell Zamboni!