Why was Zamboni passed over for Pope?

I know, I was shocked too… I’ll explain it all as soon as I get out of here ( the Vatican). The last 48 hours were hell as we were locked in “conclave” -it was really just a 48 hour  McCauley Caulkin film marathon..I have to go as I am tweeting this onto my phone and homies be lookin’ over your shoulder up in this Sistine..

Talk soon…will reveal all… (the black smoke has no significance, my bad!!- Cardinal Slipovitz from Estonia and I were trying to BBQ some blood sausage!)