Will It Rain Tomorrow?

This question comes to me often including today and I have a definitive answer for you.

No. It never rains. As the Egyptian Lover said to his one-eyed concubine: “it only rains if you let it- pass the mustard.”

Rain is external, it is “beyond your control” – therefore since you cannot control it, you simply must control your response to it. The wise jump into puddles and smilingly get wet with glee. The glum bitch and bemoan their outcast state and wish they had an umberella or some-such silliness.

It never truly rains. You see.

Except in Portland. But there, the sun is looked at like a rain. As the old Estonian clockmaker said,”every two weeks a bitch in heat bites her leg.”

So remember, you hold the Rains!