Zamboni, what do you think of my play?

Dear Zamboni, I have written a new play which I think will save the Theatre which has become moribund, boring, non-risk taking and very much like a bourgeois narcotics factory.

Can you give me some critique on this? Thanks..

Jack Terry, Paris tennessee.

Great New Play

(Two men, A and B enter from stage left dragging a Bear. B sets up a hot plate and begins to make Oatmeal while A covers the bear with a blanket. After waiting for the water to boil and preparing the Oatmeal, A and B eat the Oatmeal.

Silently. The bear makes a few faint groans and grunts. B casually puts down his Oatmeal and retrieves a gun and shoots the bear an extra time. The bear is pretty silent. B returns to his Oatmeal.

After finishing their Oatmeal, A and B break their plates, flip the “bird” to the audience and exit wherever they like. Leaving the bear. After a moment, nothing really changes. Then the Sound of riotous deafening applause comes over the loud speakers, making the audience unnecessary.)

The End