Great Zamboni’s Presidential Endorsement is…..

Yes folks, many of the public have been pestering me, -yes Anderson Cooper I am talking to you unfriended one!- asking me something to this effect of, “Great Zamboni whom are you backing for President?” For some time I have avoided answering this question because as you know, I am personal friends with Donald Trump. Afterall it was me, many years ago whom he confided in very privately, saying to me, “Zamboni, the Donald is getting a little older and thinner up here in the hair department- what should I do?’

I took a seven day retreat of sleepless gambling and debauched alcoholism in his Atlantic City casino, gratis, and then at the end of that week the inspiration hit me on how to solve my friends Triptillomanical problems… It was a vision I got of how he could do his hair in a beautiful way. My vision was this, “there is an ocean wave, of golden hue, cresting in gauzy sheets…” and it was this way his hairdue is born. You’re welcome.

Now, as far as presidential picks go, though I love Doanld and support his call that Apple iphone move their production to the USA,  I must support Martin O’Malley for president.  Bernie is a grouch, Hillary is a shrew, but Martin is a statesman.

Zamboni always goes with gut.

The Winning Powerball Numbers

Look, winning Powerball isn’t easy. I should know. I’ve won it four times already and each time? Moe money moe problems…
But I can offer you this exercise that you can gain profit from.
If you won the billion, what would you do? Answer this fast right now without thinking.

Two things I observe. First, you just revealed what you should do with your life.
Second, I guarantee whatever you said is possible without the billion. Now I know, you said maybe “helicopter..private island…ranch in Aspen…lifetime supply of Siracha” etc.

But what you really mean by that is “beauty, peace, place to be with people i love..good condiments…” and honestly, not only is that possible without the helipad in Aspen, but you probably already have those things… Lucky you.


Just be careful what you wish for. As I found it in a threesome with Siegfried and Roy, it can get you more than you bargain for…(yes it was wrong of that Tiger to attack Roy, but he had his reasons.)