what the fuck is Trump doing?

Many people have confided this question to me Great Zamboni, even billionaire mega billionaires who i hang out with in the Bohemian Grove peeing in the woods and giggling like Henry Kissinger and Donald Rumsfeld. Even Donny -or as we call him  -Donny GeeFunk- even he asked me from the outhouse next to mine just this foggy morning, “Zamb, what do you make of Trump? and can you pass me some TP?” I marvelled at Donny’s simply worded question and decided I would answer it via the Interweb so i had to walk down the road here a bit until I got some bars so here we go before Dick Cheney catches me for breaking the no devices rule:

I love Trump! He is my supermodel of how I must behave on Earth! My reasons are this: The Stoics taught us centuries ago that we make our own reality and we live in the world we create- so does Trump live in the world where he makes the facts and the truth- Advanced!

Us Estonians are a bitter pessimistic people, we have a popular saying that generally you should, “make your face as ice”, and so when I look at his his always grumpy puss, I feel so at home! Yes sometimes he slips up and smiles, but at those super cool rallies, who could help it? Even us Estonians accidentally get happy when we gather in the thousands and sing songs for hours. Or eat a good blood sausage.

Next answer. Trump is trying to make his American great again, he really is! Many people say he is Russian stooge or even insane but i do not think an insane unstable person could get this far in life, do you? Look, I fucking hate the Russians, they have always try to make Estonia their bitch, and I think Trump playing them right now, just the way he play Americans and -WaBAMM!- I won- even though no one think possible.

So to answer the question what the fuck is Trump doing? He’s doing Trump bitches! And it is the best thing for the liberals and granola resistance since forever, I wonder what they do with it?

Truth bomb!

 

Why did Trump win?

  1. This question came to Zamboni from Hillary herself, via snapchat, 20 minutes ago.
  2. This is above most people’s pay grade, but- after the Cubs won the world series, the bi-cameral and hemispheric balances were thrown off kilter allowing heretofore unheardof phenomenon to occur like Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg doing a cooking show together and us having a President Trump.
  3. Liberals are in love with thinking that people use reason in voting and  hence would be swayed by three endless debates (they weren’t) or Trumps racist bullying rants (they weren’t). We  all missed a lot of football for nothing. People decide with their gut.Undecided is statistical anomaly? Ever known one? See.
  4. We all thought it’d be a coronation with the royal name of Clinton. Americans don’t do royalty.
  5. People like to elect outsiders as potus. Look at all the governors from out of DC vicinity: Reagan, Carter, Clinton, Bush II. Not senators or DC insiders. (I know but Obama was a recent arrival and being Black, had his outsider card. ) Hillary if you really want it, move back to Arkansas and run!)
  6. Whitelash.
  7. Guns. People like them. Look Hillary, how the hell am I to hunt squirrels without my two AR15s? (I like to have one in each hand and just spray up in the trees, less time consuming and fun to see them drop!!)
  8. BTW its the best possible thing that could happen to the democratic party. Take it from an Estonian that lived under dictator USSR puppet for years. Nothing like cruel and unfair oppressor to really make people come together.