what the fuck is Trump doing?

Many people have confided this question to me Great Zamboni, even billionaire mega billionaires who i hang out with in the Bohemian Grove peeing in the woods and giggling like Henry Kissinger and Donald Rumsfeld. Even Donny -or as we call him  -Donny GeeFunk- even he asked me from the outhouse next to mine just this foggy morning, “Zamb, what do you make of Trump? and can you pass me some TP?” I marvelled at Donny’s simply worded question and decided I would answer it via the Interweb so i had to walk down the road here a bit until I got some bars so here we go before Dick Cheney catches me for breaking the no devices rule:

I love Trump! He is my supermodel of how I must behave on Earth! My reasons are this: The Stoics taught us centuries ago that we make our own reality and we live in the world we create- so does Trump live in the world where he makes the facts and the truth- Advanced!

Us Estonians are a bitter pessimistic people, we have a popular saying that generally you should, “make your face as ice”, and so when I look at his his always grumpy puss, I feel so at home! Yes sometimes he slips up and smiles, but at those super cool rallies, who could help it? Even us Estonians accidentally get happy when we gather in the thousands and sing songs for hours. Or eat a good blood sausage.

Next answer. Trump is trying to make his American great again, he really is! Many people say he is Russian stooge or even insane but i do not think an insane unstable person could get this far in life, do you? Look, I fucking hate the Russians, they have always try to make Estonia their bitch, and I think Trump playing them right now, just the way he play Americans and -WaBAMM!- I won- even though no one think possible.

So to answer the question what the fuck is Trump doing? He’s doing Trump bitches! And it is the best thing for the liberals and granola resistance since forever, I wonder what they do with it?

Truth bomb!

 

Trump’s Empire is Massive!

Ladies and gentlemen of the Press who I respect so much even though all you fish gut suckers care about is my tax return.

You know what they say in Estonian Snooker clubs, if the Empire is massive, then it follows like night follows day, so is the penis!

But Trump, who is a good friend of mine, me, the one called Great Zamboni, yes GREAT Zamboni because my GREATNESS is really, really great, I mean really fantastic- Trump did travel to Estonia a few months ago to meet with me privately.

Now, as to your questions about whether or not Donald and I met privately with three comely and fetching toothless fishwives for some innocent massage and iced vodka shooters- well, we may have or we may not have. But I can tell you, that if we had -and seriously of all the people in this room do you really think WE wouldn’t do that?- if we had our sexual prowess would have been really really fantastic.

No have we cleared all that up?

 

I surviving 2017

How do I do it? I keep in mind the old Estonian saying, “your face should be like Ice”. You see, we Estonians are used to being taken over by many bamboozling buffoons- first it was the Danes in like year 1200, then the Teutonic Knight Order, the Germans, then the Soviets, then the Nazis, then the Soviets again- so being ruled over by bufoonery is old hat to us.

tombstone

How do we deal with less than savory rulers? We expect only shit from life all day every day. We tough through life and smile for no one expecting nothing but drudgery cold and darkness.

in this way, any brightness seems to us a great and wonderful surprise. Like when your dog lives to be older than 8 or your goat does not freeze into block of ice.

So get your Estonians balls America, its going to be a bumpy knight.