Month: August 2013

Why did the chicken cross the road? -and why do we never tire of those chicken jokes?

This question, and its rejoinder, come from “Moon Unit” in Albany, Ca.

The first one is very easy. Chickens are very simple and have an inner monologue that consists of only these thoughts: “worms….worms…..seeds…..grubs……huh?… huh?…worms…..worms…..seeds-” you get the picture. So the chicken crossed the road not even knowing what a road is, but just aimlessly wandering looking for food.

The second question is the interesting one. Why do we keep caring about the pointless chicken? The jokes are never funny!

Zamboni has thought this over and arrived at this thought. We all wish we could be the chicken. We wish we could turn off our brains to such mindless thoughtless instinct as the chicken and not think about what we’re doing for even a second. Not many of us can achieve such rash thoughtlessness- save me, Zamboni, Dalai Llama and Tom Cruise. We tell the joke because we  think the chicken must have some reason, because we always do.

We envy the chicken, and make fun of him for that reason.

Zamboni, is being called “pretentious” bad?

Webster Definitions:
1
: characterized by pretension: as

a : making usually unjustified or excessive claims (as of value or standing) <the pretentious fraud who assumes a love of culture that is alien to him — Richard Watts>
b : expressive of affected, unwarranted, or exaggerated importance, worth, or stature <pretentious language><pretentious houses>
2
: making demands on one’s skill, ability, or means : ambitious<the pretentious daring of the Green Mountain Boys in crossing the lake — American Guide Series: Vermont>
    This is an interesting question and one quite suited to me, the one called great zamboni. I have been called pretentious a few times I must admit.  Once I was at the helm of my 125 foot mega-yacht, The Obfuscator, off the coast of the Cayman Islands.
    I was wearing a blue paisley Hermes ascot, a blazer with gold buttons and my white velvet sea captain hat.   I asked my crew if the ascot was too much, and did I look pretentious? My first mate, a Maltese acrobat named Fortuna, smiled and said, “no,  because you are not wearing pants or shoes. “
As my frigid johnson flailed around in the 30 knot winds, I started to understand the good and bad sides of this term.
   Though this word is thrown around as an insult- I see a favorable side to it. The 2nd definition even is like “ambitious”, in this way, being pretetnious is reaching even farther than you think your skill can take you. It’s like T.S. Elliot said, getting in over your head is the only way to find out how tall you are.
   Of course you can drown too, I spose.
   I say that overall, I would rather be called pretentious than  nothing at all. Let us strive in this life to do just that, strive. Wear the ascot on pantless Wednesday. Write the damn great american novel, not just another book.
    Just play this video-  The Style Council (pretentious band name!) a little arty? a little pretentious with the blue background? who cares, its good.
   So there is your wisdom- and thanks to Robert E. for posing this conundrum.