I have received this question four hundred and three times in the last ten minutes from my panicked followers so I will try and elucidate what happened for you as best as only Great Zamboni can: (Meanwhile, Casey Afleck, please check your envelope carefully because I am sure Gosling must get your statue?!)
It wasn’t Warren Beatty losing his kishkas. It wasn’t a backstage mixup in which Emma Stone shmoozed Warren so hard they swapped envelopes. No. It was the trickster will of the Gods.
Look at Trump’s victory. Look at the craziest Superbowl comeback turnaround ever. This is the year of the Insane Revolution. I don’t mean just necessarily”revolution” as in Che Guevara or Les Miz or Hamilton and Valley Forge, I mean revolution in its literal record-revolving-33 revolutions per minute meaning- a turn completely around. That revolution.
Everywhere we look things are spinning higgledy-piggledy on their heads. The Statue of Liberty replaces her torch with a “closed” sign, presidents tweet while they poop and grab by the pussy, the poor vote for the rich and California’s draught turns to floods. So if this universal spirit of change has caused the great kerfuffle at the Oscars, the real question is; what does it mean?
Great Zamboni thinks that the take away from the times is this: you know somethings happening but you don’t know what it is, do you, Mr. Jones…
Yes like the Dylan song, something is happening. It’s a call to awake! fron God himself. He talks to me regularly and has confirmed this. And by the way, he loved La La Land and Moonlight so much, even he couldn’t decide. The first is classic Hollywood man-woman romance, updated beautiful for today with many white people. The second, a beautiful film about fear and taboos, man-man sort of romance, guardian angels, and ultimately surviving long enough to be yourself, and with all Black people.
God- or whatever the voice is that I start hearing after I drink three Kombuchas and have my Blue Algae enema, perhaps wants us to know that it doesn’t have to be either/or with Love- it can be both and all. Maybe they can both be best.