“Is Now a Good time to buy Apple Stock”

This question comes from J.W. straight outta Berkeley Ca.

Dear J.W.:

No. The stock is very volatile, so Zamboni say no. Even graph of the stock’s behavior today look like Estonian mountain range: up down up down very jagged like. Zamboni say to invest in greatzamboni fund. This fund which I create myself by bundling together many small Estonian businesses,  these include but are not limited to:

-My uncle Norblad’s glue cart

-My neighbor Svenblad’s bee pollen concession

-My grandmothers goat Bjorgias who is not yielding milk now (so technically this section is “goat futures”, very exciting!)

-Acme Bow Ties (they are bounding for come back)

-Long John Silvers (fish place I find on my travels, even to place of dryness like Ohio!)

For the price of one share of Apple (419$) you can get in ground flooor of greatzamboni fund- and if you act now also my brother Tone (pronounced Toe-Nay) is sending you hand bag.

And as always with anything Zamboni- past performance is always guarantee of future excellence.

I await your cheque!

Zamboni