Where is Godot?

This question comes from Alfred D., in London England.

Dear Sir, Zamboni knows the answer to this question, not unsurprisingly…

Perhaps you have not realized that Rene Zellwigger, the actress of Hollywood, has been scarce these days and not too often seen…Right?, now you’re saying to yourself Oh yea where did Rene Zellwigger go? Bridget Jones, etc…

Well, it turns out, this happened: As usual, I was entetaining my friends inside the nightclub Hyde, @ the Bellagio, in Las Vegas. It was an average Tuesday night for Zamboni: Stephen Hawking kept making us dangle his chair in the Bellagio fountains as they erupted every 15 minutes- this wasn’t as strenuous as it may sound for we had the chiselled abs of Daniel Craig and Brad Pitt to rely on- and yet Hawking is such a drunken fuck that he kept T-Paining the lyrics to the songs the DJ played and he’d had three bottles of Alize to himself so he would actually fall out of his hanging chair and have to be rescued at least three times by Ryan Lochte who was everyones designated driver and lifeguard. Talk about fortuitous!

But this brings me to Angelina Jolie who was accompanying her husband at this shindig. As she tells it, Zellwigger was making the sexy eyes at Brad Pitt, I did not see this but am not fond of doubting her. In a rage, she grabbed the scimitar of a Persian guest of mine and ran at Rene screaming something along the lines of “I will cut you!” at this very second, in walks Godot who we have been waiting almost a century for! “Finally you came!”: I shouted, my mouth full of caviar. Godot looked sheepish and mumbled something about Mapquest- but in one beautiful second of quick thinking, grabbed Zellwigger out of  the path of Jolies shimmering blade, and jumped off the balcony with her- and we have not seen either since.

So the morals are these: Angelina Joile is scary when her jealousy is aroused. If you wait long enough for something to happen it probably will. It is probably good we are waiting for Godot again, since it’s always nice to have something to look forward too. Don’t invite Stephen Hawking to your party.