Zamboni, what do you think of my play?

Dear Zamboni, I have written a new play which I think will save the Theatre which has become moribund, boring, non-risk taking and very much like a bourgeois narcotics factory.

Can you give me some critique on this? Thanks..

Jack Terry, Paris tennessee.

Great New Play

(Two men, A and B enter from stage left dragging a Bear. B sets up a hot plate and begins to make Oatmeal while A covers the bear with a blanket. After waiting for the water to boil and preparing the Oatmeal, A and B eat the Oatmeal.

Silently. The bear makes a few faint groans and grunts. B casually puts down his Oatmeal and retrieves a gun and shoots the bear an extra time. The bear is pretty silent. B returns to his Oatmeal.

After finishing their Oatmeal, A and B break their plates, flip the “bird” to the audience and exit wherever they like. Leaving the bear. After a moment, nothing really changes. Then the Sound of riotous deafening applause comes over the loud speakers, making the audience unnecessary.)

The End

2 thoughts on “Zamboni, what do you think of my play?

  1. Dear Zamboni, I’m not as smart as you so this ‘comments’ thing is a little intimidating and forgive me for getting personal: The playwright is perhaps pissed off and a little sad still about the death of a famous friend. Or maybe it’s about regret (shooting the bear the first time), or the weird way people act normally (eat oatmeal) in the middle of a calamity, or commit acts of immense bravery (shoot the bear to put it out of its misery), and how weird and unfair it is that life goes on with the rest of us there to bear witness (swearing at the audience).

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